His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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