hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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