dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
