pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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