so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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