please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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