just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
