What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Randomize
