I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
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