he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Randomize
