Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
