how hairy? two words: wookie tits
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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