what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I just want nice things and good sex
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
