My friends, they love my intelligence
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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