Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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