im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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