Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
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