you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
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I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
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you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
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