You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
