Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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