apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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