Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
