its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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