the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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