i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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