It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
