I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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