My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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