Well apparently he's into motor boating.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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