I'm laying in your front yard are you home
My sheets look like a crime scene.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
