I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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