you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Randomize
