That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
