i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
