i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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