I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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