i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
