Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
