Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
tell me about the eggs
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
