It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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