he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
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