I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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