woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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