Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
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