You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
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