i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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