Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Randomize
