well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
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