He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
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She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
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also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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