lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
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