I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
