pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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