so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
and i looked up. we had an audience...
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WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
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He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.