then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
