I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.