Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.