two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
And then my night got REAL pukey
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
