White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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