he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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