i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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