What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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