So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
