we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Randomize
