Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Randomize