Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Randomize
