I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
