think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
