I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
